Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
