she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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