I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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