if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
