At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
