...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
