So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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