omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
