grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
it's like heaven, but drunker
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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