So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
