i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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