there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
