If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
