Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
