no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
