Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
