butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Randomize
