just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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