ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
