Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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