He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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