He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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