Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Randomize
