how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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