He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
