That's intense
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
