PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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