he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
no. you can't hotbox the world.
vagina is talking i cant
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize