Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
