I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
