Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
