did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
