Will you blow on my dice?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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