that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She bit a glass in half.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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