He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
