try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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