dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
