I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
