I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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