I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
