you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
