Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
