Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
