Your tits are I can't wait for
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
