Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i now understand why vodka
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
