Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
false alarm, still single
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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