Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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