got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
