You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
