Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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