In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
All I want is dick and wine.
You are a genius and a whore.
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