Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
