Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
