I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize