last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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