After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
