I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize