I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Every concussion has its silver lining
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So apparently I’m into choking now
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