So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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